The Beat 94.5 - Officially "Dead to Me"

In an homage* to the best new show of 2005, The Colbert Report, I have decided to publicize my "Dead to Me" list. This list of people, places, and things whose existence, for one reason or another, I officially no longer acknowledge. This is especially true of things that I once loved but have disappointed me to the point that I will forever completely ignore them.

Currently the list it comprised of the Phoenix Coyotes (for leaving Winnipeg) and Randy Moss (for the heinous crime of becoming a Raider).

Today's addition is Vancouver radio station The Beat 94.5.

The Beat was once the sole hip-hop station in Vancouver, a place where you could hear non-Eminem rap, deep Pac track, old school, and funk throughout the day. Yet over the past 5 years as it has grown in ratings it has moved closer and closer to Top 40, until last year when they dropped their any mention of urban culture and the all black morning crew and replaced it with non-stop pop music and the suburban-friendly poser Kip (or Kit or something) Carlson and two girl that I can only assume were picked up in a shopping mall somewhere. Lately The Beat has taken to hours of celebrity gossip, Hillary Duff promotions, hourly play of "My Lumps", and Ryan Seacrest (**shudder**). The worst though is how they loosely cling to a whitened up version of their past by promoting the odd mainstream hip-hop show and once having the askew-hat wearing Carlson (because wearing a Yankee-cap slightly off centre gives you street-cred) interviewing 50 cent, the pinnacle of hip-pop. Of course, soon another radio station will start up playing hip-hop and any coolness left in the station will vanish and leave something that is only palatable to 30 something female office workers (see Z95).

So tonight after waking up to Nickleback's Photograph for the last time, I will be switching the station on my alarm clock and never going back because The Beat is officially Dead to Me!

Kurt

PS: In case you are wondering the following things are "On notice" of becoming dead to me: Joaquin Phoenix (for pronouncing his name wrong); Brendan Morrison (for floating and never winning a faceoff); Family Guy (for not having an episode with a plot since Season 3); and Wendy's (for square hamburgers - if you were going to adjust the shape of anything on a cheeseburger make the cheese round not the hamburger square - if it wasn't for your delicious spicy chicken sandwich the whole chain would be dead to me!)

* Homage is a French term that loosely translates into ripoff

2005 Injustice

Happy New Year!

In a year of America denying torture claims and Gomery, the biggest injustice of 2005 is TSN's selection of play of the year.

The #1 play according to TSN is Marek Malik's through the legs shootout goal.

Granted that was quite to shot..... but it was a game winning goal (that won the Rangers 1 point) in October!!!!

Tiger Woods made a chip shot for the ages on the 16th at Augusta. This was the best play of the 21st century, let alone 2005! Tiger's shot won the Master's, redeemed his year of winning nothing while he reworked his swing, and provided Nike with the greatest product shot ever!!

In the greater scheme of things Malik's goal meant nothing. Tiger's shot meant everything. I know TSN is head over heals for pro hockey being back but they made a horible decision in their play of the year.

Kurt

If Freedom's worth a buck 'o five, what's sovereignty worth?

So our government finally did it! Bush, Cellucci, Powell, and our own Conservative Party have been hounding our country to bow to the pressure and join America as one nation under god... or at least as one nation under a missile defense shield. Paul Martin in a very Canadian confrontation-avoiding kind of way, politely but firmly told the Americans, "No". Now we wait out the initial backlash which is coming and coming big, because America is pissed. The US administration really wanted an excuse to dole out another few billion tax payer dollars to their friends in the engineering/ military industry, especially if we were going to be footing half the bill!

First, Condoleezza Rice canceled her state visit to Canada. No biggie. If she wants to keep her pock-marked, Letterman-toothed grill south of the 49th, I'm cool with that. [Ed. note: I mean she is a republican, you'd think she could afford some orthodontic work and a case of stridex pads!] The big news came today and was plastered on the front of the National Post. "BUSH WON'T CALL PM"!! Like a note passed around a junior high home room, the Post is spreading rumours that Bush is dumping Canada... I heard he's now taking Vincente Fox to the prom! Seriously though, of course Dubya is too busy to make time for the guy that cost him and his buddies millions of dollars, I would be too. The Post continues it's fear mongering by quoting a panel of leading citizens (ie: rich conservative people) who are worried about the growing anti-Canadianism in the USA and how this could have drastic negative effects on our economy. Therefore, the panel concludes, Canada should agree to US demands for this new version of Reagan's Star Wars plan.

Ah, negative effects to our economy! The right-wing ace in the hole for anything and everything they oppose. The argument was, historically, for things like higher pollution, lower taxes, and free trade, things that, in the short-term at least, would negatively effect our economy. Now the debate has switched to anything that would upset the Americans, especially Republicans. There were arguments against Marijuana de-criminalization, gay marriage, and now, not joining this missile Defense plan based on the economy.

The truth is, when we oppose right-wing American values there will be a short-term negative effect on the economy, stalling on re-opening the border to cattle for example. In the long run though, California and New York still need power, Detroit still needs auto parts, middle America still needs Alberta oil, and Washington State still needs BC pot (okay, bad example). For all the posturing of the right, America's glut for our resources will inevitably open the border for the free flow of goods. Even if it does cost us in the long-run, what's a little sovereignty and freedom worth? Clearly, more than a small hit to the economy.

Saying "no" to Americans every now and then will not leave us all in the poor house. What it will do is give us independance and increase that special condecending Canadian knowledge that we are better than those stupid Americans. So before we go thinking that America will close down Canada, remember two key things 1) America is totally run by businesses; Canada is only partially run by businesses and 2) All businesses want an open border and since business has a greater sway in Washington than in Ottawa they will crack first, no matter how much pot we smoke, gays we marry, or terrorists we harbour. So let's just sit tight and wait, because they'll eventually stop bitching and listen to where the money is. If for no other reason than because Jeb is gonna need a lot of it to beat Hilary in 3 years!

"Either you're slingin' crack rock or you got a wicked jump shot"

In case you missed it, in Friday night's Pacers -Pistons game a fight broke out. This was not your usual NBA brawl of name calling, pushing and slapping each other like little girls (man I miss hockey). This fight involved real punches, things being thrown and, oh yeah, the fans. That''s right, after some name calling and a fan throwing popcorn at the Pacers, Ron Artest (24) ran into the stands and started attacking the guy who was taunting him. A melee ensued of Detroit fans v. Pacers players, including Artest cold-cocking another fan on the court. The guy took in and went after Artest; it's good to see my view as Detroit being the toughest city in America is well warrented. On Sunday it was announced that Artest is suspended without pay for the rest of the season. Is this fair? yes. Did the fan act out of order too? yes. That's easy. Now comes the real question: who is to blame?

Well according to some rap music is to blame. That's right. The same music that teaches our youth the joys of drug use and promiscuity is teaching grown men to go to work and fight their customers. Huh?? Rap music is an easy target because to some people, people from the ghetto are too stupid to not do what their music tells them to do. Saying Rap Music is the culpret is as racist as saying black people are to blame. It's simply not true. Immaturity is the real culpret. There is really two reasons this thugism is so prevalent in the Association: 1) basketball prodegies are treated as royalty in their communitee and never have to take responsibility for themselves and 2) the NBA promotes this "urban" culture and has turned a blind eye to these actions because it gives the league "street cred".

The truth is that NBA stars have never had to mature. The majority of NBA stars come from America's ghettos. From a young age they are seen as better then their peers, simply for playing basketball. When they get in trouble (fights, stealing, drugs, rape, etc) those who should be in power (teachers, parents, coaches) have always looked the other way because of their talents. For most of these kids basketball was the only way out of the ghetto, so adults let problems slip or cover them up. Kids playing basketball don't have to mature because there are no consequences for their actions. Added to this, most superstars are now drafted out of high school (Artest being one of them) as opposed to after 4 years of university. This further limits their maturing process. What you end up with is a league full of gangsta thugs that don't respect the game, the league, or the fans and play just to get paid. I have nothing against their salaries, that's what the market is willing to pay, but their attitude is starting to wear on the fans.

Added to this is that the gangsta attitude is practically encouraged by the NBA. The NBA is currently kept alive by America's obsession with "hip-hop" or "urban" or (insert euphamism for black people) culture. In the 1980s, David Stern took over the fledgling NBA, and on the emense skills of the megastars (Bird, Magic, Jordan) grew it into one of the world's most profitable sports leagues. In the mid-90s, these megastars retired. To stay profitable Stern began associating the NBA with black culture, hoping to cash in on the bling bling and hip-hop that took over the music industry around the same time. Unfortunately this has led to more flash and less skill. Owners started looking for the next young kid, because young, cool, and "street" is what was selling jerseys and tickets. Drafting high school kids is taking boys who would normally be spending 4 years in a structured university environment, where the boys are taken out of the ghetto and (ideally) taugh some morals and ethics, and drops them into American pop culture with a boat load of cash.

So who's to blame? the NBA that's who. They fostered the gangsta culture, now they have to deal with in. They also have promoted themselves as a way to get out of the ghetto, and the promise of NBA stardom has driven educators and parents to allow boy to get away with anything. Now the NBA must deal with the side of the ghetto that isn't shown on MTV. The side that teenage white kids who wear Kobe jerseys and listen to 50 cent, while playing GTA: San Andreas don't know about or ignore.

The year-long suspension was the right decision by the commissioner. It sets a precident that the fans are in charge, even though the fan baited Artest, the player needs to check himself. This may be too little too late. Real sports fan are starting to move away from the NBA, to the NFL, back to baseball, and to (shutter) NASCAR. This will only give the average ticket buying sports fan one more reason to spend their money elsewhere.

kurt

Wal-mart IS good for America

I was watching a documetary on MSNBC yesterday (yes, the football was that bad) about Wal-mart and it's effect on America. I hoped for a hardhitting exposé on the company, but, like everything else on NBC, it was bland and predictable (the last season of Friends anyone?). The main question posed in the show was "Is Wal-mart bad for America?" which was inevidably answered 'kinda but not really'. What it really showed was that Wal-mart is a great example of unbridled capitalism at its best and worst. It also showed why capitalists must be kept in check because once one corporation is too dominent it shifts the balance of power and allows that corporation to control the market. Once one corporation controls the market, it becomes the equivalent of a state planned economy controling the freedom of the market to seek an equilibrium, making it inefficienct.

I should probably make it clear that I am biased; I hate Wal-mart. I hate everything about Wal-mart, for example:

• their censorship of all their merchandise,
• the way they treat their employees (sorry associates),
• the way they sell themselves as a small town store (how could a little company from Northern Arkansas do any wrong?),
• the people who shop there,
• how they are creating a divide between expensive top of the line goods and the cheap crap they sell - eroding the supply for quality mid range products

As part of the "liberal elite", as the right-wing pundits call us, it is easy to see all the negatives that Wal-mart creates. Especially when one looks down the supply chain. Wal-mart puts pressure on their suppliers to lower costs (because, in theory, that's what customers want - low price at any cost), the supplier takes a bit of a hit but passes most of the price cut on to their suppliers, and so on and so on. Eventually you get to the actual producers in an Export Development Zone in some corrupt country like the Phillipeans, Sri Lanka, or China where the government will ignore the environmental and social consequences of doing business with such companies because the money they will spend will end up in the hands of the government one way or another. Now, the government corruption is not totally to blame. These producers pit 3rd world counrties against each other in order to lower wages, taxes, and all other costs knowing that for most countries this is their only source of income. The real social, economic, and enviromental costs are huge but are largely ignored by all involved, especially Wal-mart, whose CEO repeatedly stated (in the MSNBC interview) that a company from a little town in Arkansas couldn't possibly change the world.

So, obviously Wal-mart is bad for the world, and probably bad for America, right? wrong!

What you "liberal elitists" forget is that this is the new America, and in the new America the rest of the world doesn't matter. The working class who you "liberal elitists" have been trying to protect for so many years are, on the whole, happy to lose a few jobs in order to get motor oil at $1 a gallon. Even Wal-mart's over-worked underpaid associates are happy because they can buy toothpaste for 30 cents less that at Safeway. These hard working, god-fearing, blue collar folk like being taken advantage of. They like paying less for cheap crap. The like being told when and what to buy and believe that buying a DVD player will solve their problems. So, Wal-mart provides them with a DVD player for $88.87 and they love it. Even though it's going to break in 2 years.. but hey then they will need a DVD recorder.... which Wal-mart will have for some low low price just in time for the holidays!!!!

The few people that lose their manufacturing job or their small business don't really matter anyways because they are less that 50% of the whole and probably live in the loser blue states. So Wal-mart IS good for America, it gives the working class a way to get enough luxury at a cheap price to keep them content. They do this while making record profits, so the stockholders and suppliers are happy. Those who aren't happy can be dismissed as just commie trade unionists who have never worked a day in their lives. Everybody wins! And the American machine can keep truckin' along!!

Kurt

God Bless America!

Well this does it.... I used to say 'I hate America but I don't hate Americans'. Americans are good, honest, caring, hardworking people who are kept at bay by the powers that be. Most Americans are unable to change the system, and although they seem to have a strange fear of sex and swearing, and have an unhealthy fascination with big guns and violence, they are good people. They are not as pig headed and xenophobic as their foreign, defense, social, and environmental policies make them out to be. America is run by greedy corporations and a corrupt government who kowtow to said greedy corporations. If the people were really in charge, they would protect the environment (well, at least stop speeding its destruction), get guns off the streets, talk with and not down to other countries, and stop policing the world; fuck ya!

Well this has all changed! I hate Americans!! Americans ARE stupid! Yesterday, Americans were given a choice between continuing their course of paying the rich, alienating the rest of the world, digging a deeper debt, and oppressing the tired, the poor, and the huddled masses yearning to breathe free. OR choose somebody else! Yesterday, Americans--not corporate America, the media, or the government, but Americans--chose to keep the Bush-Cheney vision of American Imperialism. Americans are either too pig headed to see that the rest of the world hates them and that the government is eradicating the future prosperity of their country OR, what's worse, they are aware, kinda like being the world's bully, and don't really care about public schools, the elderly, and the environment. Americans have shown they are happy to ignore problems in the world and even in their own states and cities, and move out to the 'burbs where they can drive an SUV, shoot assault rifles, and hate gays.

Okay, Americans aren't totally stupid, and by this I mean stupider than the average herd of cattle. What they really are is afraid. Afraid of everything! They move to the 'burbs and buy guns because of a fear of "crime and poverty", which is really just a euphemism for black people; they support illegal wars and grievous human rights abuses because they are afraid of terrorism; and they support tax cuts and cuts in essential services because they are afraid of losing their money. This is really the heart of the problem. Americans are afraid of losing their wealth and place in the world. Let's face it: the USA is #1. In pretty much everything they want to be (ie: everything but soccer) and they have been since WWII. In the last 60 years, the history of America has been the history of the world, but it is starting to look like things are about to change. With the union of Europe and the awaking of China from its 3000 year slumber, America's spot as the be all and end all on earth is coming to an end. In the areas of foreign affairs (the growth of the UN and other international bodies), economics (have you seen their dollar lately?), and culture (anything on FOX), America is starting to falter. And just like all previous empires, the Americans are starting to grab on to what's left and hold on to the past. From oppressing people of colour and gays (equality? no! dancing like monkeys on reality TV and in rap videos? yes!) to lowering corporate tax and ignoring the run on fossil fuels on the planet, America is clinging to its puritan foundation, hoping that God will magically cure all their ills. So, be prepared for 4 more years of Kickbacks to the rich, Kissing up to the moral right, and Killing any people or country that opposed America's god given right to rule the world. Hey Kickbacks, Kissing up and Killing... KKK, what a coincidence! No wonder all the southern states were red!

Kurt

Iran supports Bush!!

Glancing at the Vancouver Sun today I saw an interesting acticle titled "Iran backs Bush".

That's right 1 of the 3 governments that Bush marked as the axis of evil, feels that keeping the current administration in power is in the best interest of Tehran. So either Al Jazeera needs to hire better translators OR the war or terror is going SO poorly that the terrorists are supporting the president. If the terrorists and countries that harbour terrorists that dubbya is appearently so hell bend on bringing to justice are pro-Bush, maybe they know something the average American doesn't. Mainly that the War on Terror was a smoke screen to invade Iraq, that terrorism is being used to scare average Americans into voting Republican, and, most importantly for Iran, that the white house has no plans of going after real terrorists, stopping the proliferation of WMDs and spreading democracy like they say.

I would hope this would wake americans up to this whole 'War on Terror' scam the right-wing is using as a scare tactic to get votes... but of course it won't because the media seems to think that the fact the Dick Cheney's daughter is gay it a much more important election issue.

American, fuck yeah!!! Kurt

Happy Birthday _________ !!

So as a new member of the "real world" there are a few things that I've seen in office politics type sit-coms that are starting to hit closer to home. The big one I'm currently on is the office birthday. Back at, Ham and Ass a birthday was special... mostly because with only 7 or so people they didn't happen so much, but now I'm in an office somewhere between, everyone is friends and everyone is a number... so the birthdays come with some regularity. The card is what really bothers me. On every employees birthday, a card is passsed around the office, which will undoubtably say something generic like "congrats on the b-day, thanks for letting us take a longer coffee break OR thank for giving us a chance to eat cake, or something else almost funny... probably bought in bulk for $5/ lb one bin over from where my aunt and uncle buy the "Happy Birthday we didn't buy you a present" cards I receive every year. The only thing more generic then the cards are the birthday wishes inside, because it's not like it's a get well soon card where you actually care to write something nice, you really just want to get it off your desk as soon as you can without the recipient knowing that you don't really care and just want to get it off your desk as soon as you can. Also there are only about a half dozen different birthday wishes. Happy Birthday! Have a Happy Birthday! Have a great day! I hope you have a great day! and Have a ____ (insert positive adjective here) Birthday! Now back at an office with only 7 or so people this was fine. Now I find myself hunting for the card early just to stake claim to one of the big 4 greetings so I don't have to copy someone else, or worse yet be original!! The worst it there is always the office artist who shows you all up by drawing something and being all creative. So the rest of us are outed as the lazy bums we are. This is bad the next thing I'll be whining about is the line at the DMV... wow, the "real world" is great!! When's the next AIESEC conference or commerce social???